Many Congrats to My Jobs Class Participants!

Thursday, Nov. 29, 2012, is the final session of a seven-week job skills course I have been facilitating for Easter Seals of Oregon. The group is an over-55, determined, motivated bunch of folks who have slugged it through with me lo! these many weeks. They tell me they have received much. I know I have as well.

I congratulate them on completing the course. Back into the world, now, people. The jobs await!

(By the way, Easter Seals Oregon has asked me to do the class again for another group of eager job seekers. Soon...)

Giving Advice in 7 Steps: Sharing What You Know While Remaining Likable

"Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others." Jacob Braude

Braude's above quote smacks of a kind of truth that most of us teachers, trainers, seminar and workshop leaders, ministers, priests, rabbis and mullahs have a tendency to overlook. We think we have something to say and if we say it just right, it will sink in to the listener, the viewer, the trainee, the student. We forget, though, that the recipients of our wisdom come to us for their own reasons, not ours.

With that in mind, here are seven points* for us gurus (and anyone who desires to dispense advice, which, it turns out, is most of us) to grasp and understand as we fling our accumulated brain wares out into the Four Winds:

1. Everyone comes to the learning situation with a lifetime of experiences, regardless of age.
2. Those experiences are different from all others.
3. They include the ability to perform many skills.
4. They also include misconceptions, biases, prejudices, and preferences. Some of what people think they know is actually wrong.
5. People trying to learn something new are vulnerable.
6. Learners avoid pain and embarrassment. Don't cause it.
7. Learners feel good about themselves when their learning is recognized or when something good happens as a result of their progress and successes.

Paying attention to these important truths will help us understand that what we have to offer can only be received and be of benefit when we share it with respect, honesty, and humility.  

As the little old poem says, "Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff...and nudge me when I've said enough."

*The above list is attributed to Robert Mager, from his book What Every Manager Should Know About Training, 2nd Ed. 1999

What Does It REALLY Take To Be Happy? Insights From Zappos

Stolen (per her permission) from Jocelyn Harmon's blog, Marketing for Nonprofits*:


Tony Hsieh of Zappos fame, has shared some great information about the psychology of happiness in his newish book - Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion and Purpose.  You should read it!


This online shoe store turned consumer goods marketplace, which "got married" to Amazon in 2009, has been lauded for it's exceptional customer service and employee relations programs.

While there are MANY differences between selling Nike sneakers and selling social change, a lot of Tony's ideas about how to create high-performing and HAPPY teams are applicable to nonprofits.  

Here are the highlights.  Steal away! 

According to Tony, people need 4 things to be happy.

1. Control - People need to have a sense of authority over their work.  What this means for you. Set clear guidelines for what needs to get done, why and when and then get out of the way!

2. Progress - People need to feel like they are moving the needle.  What this means for you.  Do quarterly instead of annual reviews, be curious about and responsive to your employee's dreams.

3. Connectedness - According to Tony, "studies have shown that engaged employees are more productive and that the number of good friends an employee has at work is correlated with how engaged that employee is." What this means for you. In addition, to ensuring that new hires have the right skills for the job, ensure that they are the right culture fit!  Also, create opportunities for your employees to connect inside and outside of work.  

4. Meaning - People are motivated to create MEANING in the world.  You already know this, but once their basic needs are met, "humans are more motivated by other non-materialistic needs such as social status, achievement, and creativity."  What this means for you.  Keep the VISION of your organization front and center for you and everyone else.  While achieving fundraising goals, recruiting new supporters and getting covered in The Times is great, in the end of the day, most of us are motivated by making REAL CHANGE in the world. Don't forget to make meaning!

Cheers!

Jocelyn


*Click on the title of this post to view Jocelyn's blog.

Nine (9) Simple--and Yes, Easy--Ways to Set and Reach Your Goals, Guaranteed!

“The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. Every mind is a building filled with archaic furniture. Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.” Dee Hock

You want success. You want great outcomes. You want, well, whatever it is you want. Best way to achieve? Set some goals.

You may have taken goal setting workshops or read a few books on the subject, and still, you procrastinate. (If you set goals and achieve them on a regular basis, then this may be a bit remedial so see you in the Advanced Section a bit later!) So, here are some truly simple ways to get you started. You will find, as you get this project going, that it becomes easer. It will be easier still when you see your goals being reached and your objectives manifesting before your eyes. Ready?

• First, decide you are consciously in control of this process, that your fears, your doubts, your hesitancy might rear their heads, but you are the decision maker, not them.
• Establish a reason for the goal, then give it a deeper purpose. If it’s too lightweight, it’ll be too easy to give it up.
• Choose a first step; make it your primary cause. Make certain you have defined exactly want you want this first step to achieve, what you want it to look like when completed.
• It’s essential that the goal you set is something you really want to attain. Too often, we set goals based on other people’s opinions, desires, needs. Don’t do that. Make this your target, not someone else’s.
• Once you know what you want and have made certain it’s your decision, your choice, imagine the successful outcome. Get a picture of it in your mind’s eye. See it clearly. Release it. Begin the journey. Having a clear vision will allow the necessary steps to show themselves.
• Get your goals down in writing. Writing tends to make them solid. It doesn’t mean you can’t make adjustments along the way; in fact, you’ll probably do a lot of that as you aim toward your destination. But this gives you a firm starting position.
• If possible, set a deadline. Give yourself a timeframe. Tough, but it works!
• Create a simple starting point. Move forward from there. Don’t make it too difficult or you may not get off the ground.
• Finally, even if you can’t quite believe that you can achieve your goal, give yourself permission to believe it anyway.

These simple steps can make the difference between manifesting your desired outcome and sitting on the sidelines, wishin’ and a hopin’… It’s up to you. You have what you need, you have what it takes. With just a goal or two, you set the direction. And soon, the world will become your oyster, guaranteed.

“You enjoy as much happiness as you believe you're worthy of and you suffer as much pain as you believe you’re worthy of.” (Attrib.) 

Knock, Knock! Opportunity Calling...

The famous hotel magnate, Kemmons Wilson, once wrote, "Opportunity comes often. It knocks as often as you have an ear trained to hear it, an eye trained to see it, a hand trained to grasp it, and a head trained to use it." Spot on.


Let's make this as simple as possible. Opportunities are literally rolling at your feet. When you actually notice them, they are ecstatic. Here's how to notice them more often:

• Wake up each day in a state of gratitude. Program yourself to do so each night before going to sleep. This one practice, in and of itself, will make a dramatic difference in your ability to spot opportunities.
• Listen to what's going on around you. Focus your attention outside your own self-involvment, just a little more than usual. 
• Become willing to risk a bit more. Dare to step outside of your normal patterns. 
• Create some new questions, like, "What might things look like if my current problem was solved overnight?" Answer that question. What WOULD your life be like if your most pressing current issue was resolved? Are you certain you can even answer that? Try again. Try harder.
• Could you give a little more? Yeah, I think so. Giving creates a certain kind of energy in your life that doesn't happen without it. Increase your giving even a little and watch what happens.
• Finally, and this is key: Quit complaining. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Self pity is the Number One Block that stands between you and your best successes, your best relationships, your best life, and of course, opportunity. And it is a habit. You may have to do a withdrawal process. (Is there an AA for complainers? Maybe we should start one!!)

If you make only one commitment this year, let it be the commitment to quit the self pity. If you can do that--and you can--you won't have to work nearly as hard on the first of these bullet points, the gratitude practice. It will come automatically.


If you are still on this planet (and you must be if you're reading this, eh?) you have overcome every obstacle that has been thrown into your path. You are already a tremendous success. And the more you realize that, the more opportunities will show themselves. Guaranteed.


Or your money back!

So Where's Opportunity When You Need It?

This post contains just one quote and one comment on the quote. 


"The reason why most people don't hear opportunity knock is that they are over at a friend's house pouring out a hard luck story. And if they did hear opportunity knocking, they'd complain about the noise." *


Opportunity knocks all the time. If you are willing to listen, those opportunities will literally roll at your feel so quit complaining. You can't hear the knocking over your own loud whiny cry-baby voice.


( * This quote is attributed to someone called A. Nonymous so I hereby take full credit for it.)

If I Were You, Why I'd....

Hannah Whitall Smith, founder of Woman's Christian Temperance Union, late 19th and early 20th century, said, "The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right."


Sounds good on paper. But most of us are indeed offended if the person we've advised either does not take our advice or lets it go right over their heads without even considering it. I mean, after all, we took the time to share our words of wisdom and the bloody bloke insulted us by saying "No thanks." How could he/she/they?


So, are you a wise enough person to get the wisdom of Smith's quote, that is, her advice? Or are you still insistent that when you give advice, it's important the other person or persons take it, run with it, use it or else?


You could just shut up, you know. Advice is often the least appreciated form of communication, even when asked for. So, I will let this bit of wisdom sail off into the universe, land where it will, and not worry about who likes it or who doesn't.


I'll close with a bit of info from one Uzi Weingarten who says that the best way to give adivce is to first, listen. Then ask permission. Finally, if it's OK, offer it without insistence. Sound advice, Uzi.

What's So Great About Patience?

I can hardly wait to tell you this: 

Patience means, basically, the capacity to endure delay. Do you have that capacity? If you do, you are among the exceptions. If you don’t, welcome to the club.

Here’s the paradox. It takes patience to move from impatient to patient. Sort of like a priori knowledge. Huh? That means gaining the knowledge before having the experience. Hard to do.

So, what’s the key? Simple. Acknowledge and accept your impatience. Claim it, even revel in it. The more you take hold of it, the less impact it will eventually have on your life.

I’ve read all kinds of literature, seen videos and DVDs, listened to the so-called experts, all telling you how to become more patient. But you don’t become a patient person by trying to become one. You become a patient person by accepting yourself just as you are—scars, warts, small penis, small breasts, everything. And if you have trouble accepting yourself, so what? It can take a while. You’ll start again tomorrow. In the mean time, you’re fine.

See? You’re already more patient.

Eat or Be Eaten: How Fast Can You Run?

And the lion shall lie down with the lamb? Come now...


I found this in a book some time ago at some bookstore or the library, I forget which. For some reason it stirred me. I'll spare you the content of that stirring and simply ask you to see how it affects you and then perhaps leave a comment. It's written by Anonymous so I can't give any other attribution. If you know where it comes from, please let me know and I'll share it. I thank you in advance.


"Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion [also] wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It does not matter whether you're a gazelle or a lion. When the sun comes up, you'd better be running."

Such is the core of competition. Eat or be eaten. Still, can we really eliminate it? And do we even want to? Your call.

An Interesting Article in Favor of Competition...

An Opposing View...

When You're Finished Changing, You're Finished! (BFranklin)

Stuck? In a rut? On a treadmill? Fearful? Perhaps this little article can be of some assistance. 


First, that famous author, A. Nonymous:

• By changing your thinking, you change your beliefs. When you change your beliefs, you change your expectations. When you change your expectations, you change your attitude. When you change your attitude, you change your behavior. When you change your behavior, you change your performance. When you change your performance, you change your life.

Well said, A.!

From One to One Thousand: How to Make Your Audience Love You!

No one really cares how much you know until they see how much you care...

“Communication is not a skill. It is THE skill.” Harry Beckwith, The Invisible Touch

You’re a boss, a leader, a minister, a motivational speaker, or a volunteer for your civic group. You need to make a presentation. And you really have something valuable to share. At least, you think so. But do you even know what your audience is hoping to get from you? Or are you so concerned about yourself and your message that you forget why you’re standing in front of us in the first place?

Here’s what we want from you and if you get these right, we’ll pretty much do as you want us to:

Changing Your Direction: How to Break Out without Freaking Out

The Four Commitments

“The process of [personal evolution] is limited only by our imagination.” Joe Dispenza – Evolving Your Brain

Commitment: the act of binding yourself (intellectually, emotionally, spiritually) to a course of action.

Commitment is a dirty word to many of us. It means giving up lazy and doing some work. So, we fight the urge. We eat the fries, we smoke the cigs, we sleep in when we have an interview. What we need is an easy way, or at least a simple way, to get ourselves motivated. 

Motivated? That's another dirty word! We'll use stimulated instead.

The following four commitments are gentle but don’t let the softness fool you. These commitments can change the direction of your life. But do you want that? As Joe Dispenza also says in his book, “To change is to break the habit of being yourself.” Many want to move forward while their feet are glued to the floor. If you are NOT among that number, then these commitments will help you move toward whatever it is you want to accomplish on every level:

 

1.   Let go of the past. We all have memories we want to keep, of course, but most of us do not live in those memories. Letting go of the past means committing to forward movement, taking the best from what you have learned and experienced, using all that make this present moment and the next the most interesting they can be.

2.   Tell the truth. Acknowledge what is, ensure that your perspective aligns with your highest values, embrace the incredible complexity of life, recognize that what you believe today may change tomorrow. Your future self may have different tastes and ideas.

3.   Be supportive and helpful. Give of yourself without cynicism or negativity.

4.   Pick something to improve yourself. Focus on growing rather than on judging, complaining, and whining. Yes, I know you have troubles. Don't we all! 

 

It’s simple to become and maintain your best self. Not necessarily easy, but simple. Here’s a bonus: Be authentic, find a purpose, develop compassion, seek wisdom. It all takes courage. You already have it. But then, you knew that, right??? As Nike says, just do it. In the doing comes the reward.

Of course, lazy is still an option. So are its consequences.

 

“The moment you commit and quit holding back, all sorts of unforeseen incidents, meetings, and material assistance will rise up to help you. The simple act of commitment is a powerful magnet for help.” Napoleon Hill

 

Executive Ego: Is It Standing In Your Way?

To lead is to serve; otherwise, why bother?

"The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality; The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor . . . A friend of mine characterized leaders simply like this: 'Leaders don't inflict pain; they bear pain.'" 

Max De Pree

Sometimes we get to the corner office by stepping on toes. Most times, not. When we do get there by less that honorable or cooperative means, we usually lose the respect of our colleagues. And rightly so. There is a much better way.

•       Get a grasp on how your relationships with those in your organization affect both your own and the company’s success.
  
•       Meet informally with your colleagues more often.
  
•       Let it be known that you can be contacted for advice and, more important, support.
  
•       Develop a strong relationship with one major member of each area or department that comes under your leadership.
  
•       Focus more on your people rather than on tasks.
  
•       Forge connections with key people outside your organization but within your industry.
  
•       Participate in community activities and events to connect with other leaders; build important alliances.

Servant leadership is not just a nice idea; it is the only way to create the kind of organization that can be successful in the 21^st century. And it will always be the best policy to make the best connections with those in your charge.

"Leaders we admire do not place themselves at the center; they place others there. They do not seek the attention of people; they give it to others. They do not focus on satisfying their own aims and desires; they look for ways to respond to the needs and interests of their constituents. They are not self-centered; they concentrate on the constituent. . . Leaders serve a purpose and the people who have made it possible for them to lead . . . . In serving a purpose, leaders strengthen credibility by demonstrating that they are not in it for themselves; instead, they have the interests of the institution, department, or team and its constituents at heart. Being a servant may not be what many leaders had in mind when they choose to take responsibility for the vision and direction of their organization or team, but serving others is the most glorious and rewarding of all leadership tasks."

James Kouzes and Barry Posner 

Credibility: How Leaders Gain and Lose It, Why People Demand It.

 

 

 

Executive Sweets: Success Shared is Success Doubled!

What is your most important business asset? Your success depends on the right answer...

“Executive,” as you know by now, is more than a title. It’s an environment. You now appear distant to most of those in your organization. Your job, then, along with all the other responsibilities you have acquired since moving into that corner office, is to communicate, to inspire, and to foster optimism. Read all the books, watch all the Power Point presentations on how to go about doing that. Then, come back to these simple suggestions:

•           Demonstrate excellence. How you proceed through your professional day will set a tone. You want it to be a good one.  You are the example, not the exception.
  
•           Set high standards for the moment-by-moment activities as well as for the new projects. You will help your staff think beyond the status quo.
  
•           Reinforce high performance with enthusiasm. Encourage your people to look for and present new ideas. Sincerely praise their efforts.
  
•           Challenge the negative outlooks while identifying the risks and their consequences. Fear spreads. Cut it off at the pass!
  
•           Let your people know that there are no failures. Mistakes will be made, to be sure. But they provide necessary feedback and open the door to the next steps.
  

It’s within your power to create an atmosphere of trust, confidence, and a greater level of comfort. When you’re trustworthy, you encourage those with whom you work to become trustworthy as well. And when people feel that they count, that they matter, and that they are heard, the stage is set for a new level of success.

You are the model. Choose to be a great one. 

"The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear."     Socrates

How to Create Power Relationships Right Now!

I want to charm you. I want you on my side. I want you to speak well of me when I’m away. I want you as my ally. How can I do that without being phony?

 

Oh, yes, I remember. First, I’ll accept you, treat you with positive regard. We all love that, right? Then, I’ll show you how much I appreciate you; I’ll give you the gratitude you deserve. No one likes to be unappreciated. After that, I’ll show you approval; I’ll shower you with praise—sincere praise, mind you. Any false stuff you’ll see through in a heartbeat. Of course, you like compliments. So I’ll show my admiration for you. I won’t flatter you, but I’ll find some way to actually compliment you. And I’ll pay attention to you. That’s the most important. I’ll show you LOVE. The word’s an acronym for Listen, Observe, Verify, Engage. Listening to what you actually say; observing your body language; verifying what you mean so I understand; engaging you in conversation that will serve us both without gossip. 

I think that’ll do it: acceptance, appreciation, approval, admiration, and attention. We want those more than anything. Anyone with the ability to share in those ways is bound to be charming. And a good leader. 

Are you with me so far? 

Tough Decisions and How to Make Them

Surrounding Yourself with What You Need

Coach John Wooden said that it’s what you learn after you know it all that counts. Many of us who are in or will be in positions of authority and even power often forget that we don’t know everything. Or, we don’t want anyone else to know that we don’t know.

You have a lot of experience and many skills but the one skill that is most important is your ability to make critical decisions. Don’t wait until you’re backed into a corner. Develop that skill daily. Here’s how:

•       You have experts on your team. Spend time with them; pick their brains. Even day-to-day conversations can give you nuggets of useful information you can eventually use to the benefit of your organization. Take a colleague to lunch. Chat.
  
•       If you find yourself responding to an issue or challenge on the emotional level, back off, quiet your mind, and refrain from making major decisions until you regain your equilibrium. If you find yourself overreacting, allow those on your team to let you know. Listen to them. Give them permission to help you get back on course. 
  
•       Constantly challenge others on your team to participate. Encourage ideas. There are gems everywhere. Listen. And give acknowledgment. They need it.
  
•       Allow others to help you anticipate issues and their implications. You can't see around all the corners. 
  
•       Continue to expand your knowledge and level of expertise, not only in your function as executive, but in all areas of your life. Open your mind to new possibilities. Perhaps begin a program of meditation, if you haven’t already. Moments of quiet contemplation can help rebuild your inner resolve. Yes, real men (and women) meditate!
  

At times you will be called upon to make decisions without having enough information. You’ll need to make them anyway. You’re on the cutting edge of opportunity, growth, innovation. The information in many cases is not even available yet. Now you can equip yourself to be ready and able to make those decisions when the need arises.