Mindfulness: Making Friends With Myself (A Meditation)

So, then, what is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is more than just being aware of what we are doing; it’s also an awareness of what we are thinking and feeling.

Mindfulness allows me to be aware when my mind keeps turning onto some well-worn karmic rut of worry or fear, inadequacy or pride.

I can still spend untold hours, days, or even weeks criticizing myself or justifying myself, blaming myself or blaming others. Yet I never would think of making a conscious decision to spend all that time enveloped in self-criticism or blame.

It seems like my thoughts and feelings are out of my control. Sometimes I notice that my whole day has an undercurrent of worry flowing through it. Worry may be telling me that some aspect of my life needs attention, yet the activity of spending the whole day endlessly replaying my fears is a useless waste of my energy and causes me considerable pain.

Through attention, being willingly and deliberately mindful, I can become aware of how much pain I am causing myself with my worrying. I then can also see that I have been choosing to worry and that I have a choice to let go of my worries and return my awareness to my present activity.

Mindfulness allows me to see that I can choose to turn toward something positive like trust rather than worry, choose to forgive rather than blame, choose faith rather than doubt.

If I feel despair, it is my choice if I allow myself to turn away from my faith and project a future without hope. And in each situation, if I am willing to really look, to see, the gift will appear. It has to. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

"By choice I become the conscious observer...of my life, my surroundings, my relationships. I watch to see when I step out of awareness and shift into automatic, allowing old habits to take over and control the situation. In that moment I say, 'Halt.' And I regain the command position. In doing so, my life is simpler, more satisfying, and I am in better relationship with my family, my friends, my colleagues, and the community in which I live. And most important, I am in grand relationship with myself."